


nobody needs to know

by amazingphiw



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, DBH AU, M/M, android!phil and human!dan, because i can't write long stories oops, it'll be fragmented and not in sequence but i hope you enjoy it, like a bit, this is a collection of short stories from the same universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-07-15 14:29:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16065068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amazingphiw/pseuds/amazingphiw
Summary: Everybody seems to hate androids but Dan finds himself falling in love with one.Why is the only love he has ever experienced a secret he can never share?(not even with the person he loves)





	1. Robots

“Great. More fucking androids,” a man muttered as several androids boarded the bus.

“They’re just standing silently at the back, can’t you ignore them?” an exasperated voice asked, having heard the same complain many times.

“One day when there’s more of them than there are of us you’ll see who will be made to stand silently at the back.”

Conversations like these had become increasingly common over the last two years, and it wasn’t difficult for Dan to tune them out. He looked towards the back and as always, he saw his co-worker standing in the android section. Every day, like clockwork, Phil would board the 8:47am bus and Dan would plan his entire morning around catching the same bus. It was the only time they could spend together outside of work.

A few stops later, Dan got up from his seat and made his way down the bus, all the time keeping an eye on the back to make sure his pace matched Phil’s.

He had this whole routine memorized by now. The speed in which he walked was fast so that he would end up next to Phil at the entrance.

“Good morning, Dan.” Phil smiled and said in his cheerful voice. It was the way he was programmed to greet Dan every morning.

Dan was flustered even though it was exactly the same every morning, “Hi Phil.”

“How was your weekend?” Phil asked like he did every Monday as they both entered the office.

“It was fine,” Dan responded, not wanting to go into the details of how he spent the whole weekend sitting in his dark room, “How was yours?” he asked without much thought and surprised himself. He wasn’t sure if androids did anything else outside of work.

There was a pause before Phil answered. Dan wondered what he was thinking about, or if he even had thoughts. Was Phil just a chain of code processing information or does he have thoughts? Thoughts that Dan would kill to have a glimpse of. But before Dan could consider the android existentialism issue any further, Phil responded.

“I volunteered at the park,” he said as a matter of fact.

Dan was slightly taken aback. He could not imagine Phil living a life outside of work, living a life outside of _him._ Reading his expression, Phil explained, “It is my allocated community contribution activity as it would be a waste to keep androids inactive over the weekends.”

It made sense but it made Dan upset. Logically, he knew that androids did not need rest or leisure but seeing them being treated like nothing more than a working machine caused him to think illogically. He couldn’t help but feel unjust for Phil.

“Which park do you volunteer at?” Dan asked trying to keep the small talk going before they go to their individual desks.

“Greenwich Park, Saturdays and Sundays, 9am to 5pm.” Phil reported mechanically.

“Oh,” Dan said surprised. He has never had such good luck before, “That’s near my place.”

Phil turned to look him in the eye and smiled, “You should come visit me sometime!”

Dan blushed.

“I should.”  



	2. Commitment

Unlike his other colleagues, Dan was glad androids were being brought into the office. It just meant less work for him. Sure, there was an underlying intention from the management to replace the workforce if the androids proved productive but Dan hated his job anyway.

With rampant unemployment, the government had set up welfare systems that meant that those whose jobs were taken over by androids would not starve or suffer. It wasn’t the most glamourous position to be in and many hated being rendered useless by society, but Dan just wanted a break. If he could get replaced, it would be his ticket out of this endless loop of work and stress.

He dragged himself out of bed that Monday morning, hoping that the arrival of androids would at least make the office a little less dull.

When he arrived, he noticed that there were a few new cubicles set up. They were clearly made in a rush, using spare furniture around the office to create 4 mismatched sets of desks and chairs. But then again, it didn’t matter if the androids had a comfortable workspace.

He walked past one of the new cubicles on his way to his own and was startled by a voice that said, “Hello!”

“Jesus fucking christ!” Dan exclaimed, and turned to look at an android who had just stood from his chair.

“My name is Phil Lester and I will be your new co-worker,” the android introduced himself according to his standard programming, completely ignoring Dan’s previous reaction.

“Uhh… Dan Howell,” Dan responded feeling obligated to report his full name as well. He reached out to shake the android’s hand, not knowing how to interact with an android and defaulting to his polite human interaction instincts.

Phil happily grabbed Dan’s hand and he noticed the AP600 stitched into his android uniform. He was a fairly new model and the first one Dan had seen around.

“Who’s your new friend there, Dan?” his supervisor asked.

“Hello! My name is Phil Lester and I will be your new co-worker,” the android reported yet again.

“Phil? Well the bosses sure chose a boring ass name for a boring ass machine,” the supervisor laughed and Dan could see the irritation in her eyes.

He looked over to Phil who seemed unfazed by her comment

“Get back to work, Dan. We can’t afford to waste any time with these guys around,” she said as she rolled her eyes and walked away.

“Sorry about that,” Dan said, “She can be a bit difficult sometimes.”

“It’s alright, Dan. I was programmed to deal with difficult co-workers but it is good to know I have nice co-workers too.” Phil said looking at Dan with an unchanging, positive expression.

Unexpectedly, Dan felt his ears heating up and somehow found himself blushing over Phil’s words.

“Uhhh…” was the only response Dan could come up with.

Phil smiled at him, “So I guess I’ll see you around, Dan.”

“Yeah,” Dan said and made his way to his own cubicle.

He couldn’t see Phil from where he sat but occasionally he could hear him introducing himself again and it always made Dan smile. The other androids did the same but Dan barely noticed, and certainly did not care.

There was something about the AP600.

 

~

“You’ll be glad to be replaced won’t you, Dan?” his colleague remarked jokingly a few days later.

Dan glanced over at the androids. His eyes focused on Phil and he couldn’t help but smile. It made no sense but if this was how working with androids felt like, he would never want to leave.

“No, I want to stay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok the prompts are very uhhh loosely interpreted but i'm trying my best.
> 
> find me on tumblr @amazingphiw


	3. Dogs

Did his family find it odd that Dan volunteered to take the family dog, Colin, out for a walk on a Saturday morning? Yes. But Dan was certainly not going to tell his family that he needed to head out to visit an android co-worker at the park.

As he stepped into Greenwich Park however, he realised that he had no real plan. Dan hadn’t been here in years, and it was bigger than he remembered.

He walked a few steps forward then shook his head and headed left. Yet after a minute he decided to head right, or maybe continue left, or straight ahead again. There was no way to know where he needed to go.

“Hello!” a voice came from behind him.

Dan turned to face a woman whose face he had seen often. Even without the gentle glow of a blue light emitting from her temple, Dan knew she was an assistant android. “My name is Janet. How may I assist you in your visit to Greenwich Park today?”

Dan must have looked really lost to catch her attention, “I’m not too sure where I should go.”

“What do you want to do at the park today?” the android asked, ready to help.

There was no point lying to an android, so Dan told her, “I’m looking for another android. His name is Phil Lester. Do you know him?”

Was it rude to assume that all androids knew each other? Dan wasn’t sure but she was the only one offering to help.

“Oh yes!” she exclaimed, a little too enthusiastically. “He did mention he might have a friend come visit this weekend. I’ll take you to him.”

The android led the way and Dan trailed behind her silently, trying to remember the route so he could make the trip himself next weekend. They quickly arrive at a lacklustre flower bed and amongst the flowers a man with striking black hair stood out.

“Dan,” he said as he caught sight of them.

From the corner of his eye Dan could see the assistant android smiling as she left.

“Hey Phil,” he said in an attempt to sound casual. “I was just walking my dog in the area and thought I’d drop by.”

“I like dogs. What’s your dog’s name?” Phil asked.

“Uhm… Colin,” Dan answered hesitantly, “My parents named him because they like human names on dogs. What do you like about dogs?”

“I’m not sure,” Phil explained, “I think I was programmed to like dogs because it has been statistically proven to make androids seem more human, and in turn be accepted by humans.”

Dan was taken aback by his frank response, “Don’t you think by telling me that you’ll seem even more like a machine to me?”

“I know you don’t think I’m a machine, Dan.”

Dan laughed, getting a little used to the banter. “Well yeah, a machine would be a better gardener than you,” he said gesturing to the lifeless flowers around them.

“They’re not completely dead,” Phil said, pouting slightly. He bent down to hold the flowers in his hands and sighed, “I really tried my best, I don’t know what went wrong.”

Sensing genuine distress in Phil’s voice, Dan knelt down next to him and tried to comfort him. “They’re just plants, Phil, you don’t have to worry too much about it.”

“But I like them, and it sucks to see them like this,” Phil said, slumping down on to the soft grass.

Dan turned to him and chuckled, “The same way you like dogs?”

“No, not the same,” Phil sat up and gave Colin a little pet, “These plants have been under my care since the day I was activated. I’ve grown to care for them, and maybe in some way I've grown to love them.”

Dan’s heart went completely still.

“You can learn to love something?” He asked, looking at the android next to him.

Phil turned away, “I think so, yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ya ok I mentioned a dog, so it counts.
> 
> find me on tumblr @amazingphiw


	4. Unrequited Love

_ It’s not weird to buy an android _ , Dan repeated to himself as he walked into the store.

“Welcome and how may we help you today?” an android said wearing a generic store uniform.

“Uhm, I think I want to buy an android?” Dan said confused, unsure what else people would be in the store for.

The android simply continued smiling and asked politely, “for Business or Home use?”

“Home,” Dan answered with a distinct lack of confidence, “to like do stuff around the house.”

“Here at CyberLife, our top selling Home Android is the AX400,” the android said as they led him towards an AX400 on display.

Dan looked at the display android for a few minutes out of courtesy as the store assistant was promoting the android. “Thanks, but uhm, I already have a model in mind,” Dan said quietly, hoping no one else would hear him.

“Alright,” the android turned to look at him, “Which model would you like to buy?”

“Do you have… the AP600?” He asked sheepishly.

The android looked confused, although Dan was sure that the confusion was programmed into it. “The AP600 is a business android, you requested for a Home Android. Would you like to change your request?”

Dan nodded, wanting to quickly move things along. “Yeah I just want the AP600.”

The android led him to the other side of the store and even from a distance, Dan instantly recognised Phil standing on a platform, and as they approached him all his awkwardness and anxiety melted away.

Dan vaguely remembers confirming his purchase and having the android follow him home, but he only snapped back to reality when he sees Phil standing in his room.

Following the instruction manual, he activated the android for the first time.

“Hello, what is my name?” He said in a familiar voice that fills Dan’s heart with warmth.

“Phil… ip,” Dan decided, not wanting to make things seem weirder than they were. “Your name is Philip, and my name is Dan.”

“Hi Dan! How may I assist you today?” the android asked, waiting for his first instruction.

Dan took a step towards the android. 

In the store its face was unmistakable, but here in his room stood a stranger. He carefully approached the android and took its hand in his. “This is what I wanted,” Dan muttered under his breath as he felt his eyes starting to water. The android remained unmoving without an initial command. Dan pulled it into a tight embrace, trying to convince himself that this is what happiness feels like. “This is all I wanted,” he said, “Why is it too much to ask for?”

After a few seconds, the android asked again, “How may I assist you?”

Dan pulled away from the embrace. This is not who he wanted.

He sighed.

“Can you send yourself back to the shop for a refund?” He asked, turning away from the android.

“Ok,” the android said, “Would you like to provide a reason for the refund?”

“You’re just… not the right android.”

“Refund registered. I will now return to the store,” The android responded mechanically, and started to leave.

“Wait,” Dan said as the android opened the door. “Will your memory be wiped? When you get back to the store, I mean.”

“Yes, CyberLife values the privacy of our customers. All returned androids will not retain any memory.”

“Ok,” he said signalling for the android to complete its return. “Nobody needs to know.”

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @amazingphiw


End file.
